


New Year's Kiss

by alecdvnpt



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, New Year's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 07:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecdvnpt/pseuds/alecdvnpt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Facing one another for the first time since their parting, can the new year heal what has been broken and bring a change for the best?</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Year's Kiss

As soon as Magnus came into view, Alec knew exactly what Jace had done. As he soundlessly lifted himself onto the top-most steel bar of the unfinished building, he paused to take in the warlock's strangely demure appearance: Magnus' deep maroon long coat billowed regally in the crisp wintery air, as did his un-styled hair. There wasn't a speck of glitter in sight.

Dressed in shadowhunter black, Alec remained in the shadows, silent as the night. Still, he wasn't all that surprised when Magnus to him with a wistful smile.

"Hello, Alexander."

Magnus voice, a voice he hadn't heard in so long, sounded almost melodic to his ears. Like a siren's call, Alec found himself stepping out of the shadows towards Magnus, his heartbeat quickening within his constricted chest.

He forced himself to take a deep breath and pulled on all of his training to remain stoic, to not show the hurt that was swirling inside.

"What are you doing here? Jace said–" Alec didn't know why he had to ask when the answer was glaringly obvious. staring right into his eyes, piercing gold and green.

Magnus stared back at him with his piercing golden green eyes. "Would you have come if I asked you myself?"

"I-" Alec began then stopped. He thought about it for a second and then slowly shook his head. "No. I wouldn't have."

There was a flash of hurt and disappointment on Magnus face that made Alec's heart sink. Magnus had ignored every one of his attempts to reconcile and Alec was done trying. He wasn't a masochist, and he wasn't going to willingly subject himself to more pain. No, he wouldn't have agreed to meet Magnus, but that didn't change the way his heart still yearned for the one he loved – for the one he  _still_  loved.

Magnus slowly nodded.

Alec blew out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding and then started to turn away. "I should go."

"No–" Magnus' response was swift and sharp. "Stay," he continued, softer, more gentle, and once again his voice was liquid gold to Alec. Alec couldn't help but idly wonder if he was under some sort of spell. "Watch the fireworks with me. The view here is spectacular."

Alec's first thought was to decline, but that faltered fast. Maybe this was what he needed – to prove to himself that he could be around Magnus. He was a shadowhunter and Magnus was the High Warlock; their paths were crossing more and more frequently. "I–"

"Please?"

Alec sighed. This may have been the worst idea he's had in a while, but he found himself nodding regardless. "Fine."

Alec approached with a little weariness in his step, following Magnus' lead as they sat down, perched atop the unfinished tower.

Together, they sat in silence. Seconds turned into minutes and before long, the rumbling from the streets below noticeably became louder. The sea of voices began to chant, counting down the end of the old and the start of the new.

The clock struck twelve and like the calm before a storm, the world around them stood still for a split-second before erupting in thunderous cheers. Above them, the darkened sky came to life with coloured streaks and reverberating booms.

Perched high above the streets, Alec closed his eyes as his face slowly numbed in the wintery air. The metal frame beneath him creaked slightly in the wind.

Alec opened his eyes and took a deep breath, then summoned all the joy he could muster and channeled it into his voice. "Happy new year."

Flat and emotionless, though the slight sigh at the tail-end of his words did convey some emotion - melancholy at best - not exactly the overwhelming excitement he was aiming for.

Turning his head, Alec idly realised that if he scooched a little more to the right, he could bang his head a couple of times against a steel column. The thought was inviting, and he sighed once more.

An amused chuckle emanated from his left, where his otherwise silent perch-mate had sat without so much as a sound for the past hour.

"That's a lot of sighing for a the first thirty seconds of the new year," Magnus said with an amused glint in his golden cat-like eyes.

Alec turned away with an undignified grunt and returned his gaze to the throngs of people walking the streets below.

Magnus laughed quietly. "Happy new year to you, too."

Alec's small laugh was almost bitter. "I doubt it." he mumbled under his breath. Burying his emotions beneath a veneer of indifference, Alec casually asked, "Any new year resolutions? Do you even do those?" He honestly didn't know.

Magnus lit up. "Of course. I do have one or two."

Alec raised his eyebrows.

"The Chairman has been adamant in treating my new couch like his personal sandbox," Magnus replied with a chuckle. "I'm determined to convince him otherwise. I think he's trying to make a statement. Maybe he doesn't like the colour. Why a cat wouldn't like black leather is beyond me."

Alec fought the urge to smile. It was a losing battle.

"What about you?"

Alec had never really thought about it. With Sebastian still on the loose, his family was still in danger. Everyone was still in danger. That was a sobering thought. "Yeah," he replied softly. "Survive." That sliver of emotion that made him think this was a good idea was now gone, and that hurtling feeling he'd felt that night in the subway tunnel came crashing back. He stood and filled his lungs with chilled air. "I can't do this."

Magnus frowned and got to his feet. "Do what?"

Alec sighed. "This," he said, gesturing between them. "I can't be around you. I don't want to be around you."

As Magnus took a step forward, Alec took an equal step back.

"Alexander–"

"Don't." Alec's tone was curt. "Just don't. You may not feel anything around me anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't. I'm not you. I'm not a warlock. I can't turn it off when it's convenient." Alec all but spat his last few words as his control over his emotions slipped.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. "Is this some form of spiteful punishment or do you really think that?"

Alec let out a shaky laugh as he took a final step back, his back now pressed against a steel column, frozen beneath his fingers. "What else am I supposed to think? You never look like anything is bothering you."

"Concealer can do wondrous things, don't you think?" Magnus said dryly. "I thought you knew me better than that."

"That was the problem, wasn't it?" Alec countered bitterly. "I don't know anything about you. Not really."

"What makes you think you don't?"

Alec's hollow laugh rang throughout the construction site. "Ask me how old you are, or when your birthday is, or where you were born – wait, no, I actually do know that one."

Magnus' lips were pressed into a thin line. "So what else do you want to know?"

Alec didn't need to think about it about it twice. "How do I stop  _feeling_  every time I hear your name?"

Alec could see Magnus' gaze harden at his words.

"I could strip your memories of me," Magnus suggested, slowly inching forward with slow, calculated steps as he spoke. "You'd forget me," he whispered. "You'd forget the first time I held your hand, the first time I held you against me." Magnus was just outside his arm's reach. "The first time I kissed you, when I told you I loved you." Now Alec could reach out and punch Magnus face if he were so inclined.

"You never really loved me." Alec cursed the shakiness in his own voice. "You would have understood. You would have forgiven me."

Magnus chuckled. "Is that so? Says who?"

"No one," Alec replied, this time with more strength. Where it was coming from, he didn't know, but he could feel heat growing within him, like he was readying for a fight. "I would have forgiven you."

"You and I – we are different."

Alec nodded. "Yeah, we are. I would have done anything not to lose you."

"So this was my fault?"

"I didn't say that." Alec was indignant.

Magnus crossed his arms. "Not in so many words, no. But the implication is there."

Alec opened his mouth, but not a sound came out, and closed it again.

"I see."

"What I did," Alec started, "that was my fault. What happened after – that was yours."

Magnus was silent for a moment and then smiled. "So how do we fix it?"

The smile threw Alec off. "What?"

"You just told me you're still in love with me."

Alec sputtered. "I didn't–"

"Why else can't you bear to hear my name?" Magnus questioned.

Gritting his teeth, Alec held back a growl. He refused to be played. Standing tall, he put on a stoic face and smoothly said, "Maybe I just can't stand the thought of you."

The reaction Alec wasn't going for was for Magnus to burst into laughter.

"Oh, love, you are priceless."

Alec froze. "What did you call me?"

"You haven't tried to throw me off this building, so I assume that the problem isn't that you don't  _like_ me. It's that you do," Magnus carried on, ignoring Alec's question.

"Why did you call me that?"

"Because I still do," Magnus replied.

Alec blinked. "What?"

"Love you."

"But–"

"I've had a long time to think about it."

Alec sputtered. "I– but– it's been months. You can't just expect me to– I won't–"

Magnus silenced him with an egg roll.

Alec clenched his teeth in anger. "I'm not your plaything, Magnus Bane," he hissed.

Magnus smiled, took the final step into Alec's personal space, their chests touching and ran his his hands up and down Alec's arms. "I'm not humouring you, Alexander," he said softly. "I have been thinking–"

If he was Jace or Simon, he would have interjected with a snide comment. But Alec wasn't either of them, and he didn't really do snide comments, so he simply listened.

"It took me a while – too long – to realise that hiding my past wasn't worth losing you."

Alec was silent.

"So you were right," Magnus admitted. "What happened after was my fault. But…"

It took a while for Alec to find his voice. "But?"

"But what happens now will be yours."

Magnus was giving him a choice. A small thrill ran through his spine at the thought that he could say no – the thought of hurting Magnus strangely giving him sadistic pleasure. It would be revenge, so maybe it wouldn't be all that strange, but Alec knew better. He wasn't that kind of person. He could never be, not to the people he loved.

"I–" Alec closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the column behind him. It felt cold against his head. "I don't– I can't…" his words trailed into another sigh.

Alec felt arms circle his waist and a familiar warmth enveloped him. He smiled without thinking, and when he felt Magnus' warm lips against the side of his neck, he had no control over the groan that reverberated throughout his body. "Magnus?" His voice was unsteady.

Magnus drew him closer and their lips sealed together in a searing kiss. Months of frustration, sadness and anger was shared between them, their hands roaming, touching, grabbing, both unwilling to let go.

When the overwhelming need to breathe finally pulled them apart, Magnus couldn't help but chuckle. "So is that a yes?"

Alec mumbled something into Magnus' neck.

"What?"

Alec pulled back, a little unsteady on his feet, though every nerve in his body felt alive. "Yes to what? You never asked me a question."

Magnus leaned in and in a breathy whisper asked, "Will you forgive me?"

Alec stared at Magnus for a while, scrutinising every inch of the warlock's face looking for signs of deception. Finding none, he found himself nodding.

"Do you love me?"

"N–" Alec stopped and dropped his gaze to the floor. "Yes, I do."

Magnus smiled as he slowly traced Alec's jaw with a finger before tipping his face up by the chin, leaning close to press their lips gently together. "I love you, Alec. Forgive me."

As they held each other in tight embrace, Alec couldn't help but smile. What he'd said earlier was wrong – his year was already looking up. But he wasn't delusional either. He'd forgiven Magnus. Truthfully, he'd forgiven Magnus a long time ago. But now there was a chance for them to be together, and while there was a lot that still needed to be said between them, there was nothing that couldn't wait. Heaven-willing, they would have all the years ahead of them to talk.

"Happy New Year."


End file.
